By Menachem Rephun, Communications Manager, Creative Spirit
What aspects of employment do you consider the most important? If asked, many might answer with a stable routine, room for growth, or a comfortable work environment. These are all undeniably important. However, there’s another, often overlooked aspect that’s just as vital: building friendships and social connections, which boost morale, productivity, and job satisfaction, as well as engagement and retention. For employees who are neurotypical, it can be easy to take these types of connections for granted. For those who are neurodivergent, however, socializing with coworkers can be more challenging, due to sensory overload in office environments, social anxiety, unconscious bias among co-workers and employers, and challenges with reading subtle social cues.
The importance of socialization in employment has been weighed in on by numerous advocates and experts, including researchers at the University of Essex in England. After conducting interviews with neurodivergent employees, HR managers, and neuroinclusion specialists in the U.K., the researchers found that for many neurodivergent employees, socialization is more challenging than requesting and receiving reasonable accommodations. Employers can play a part in changing this by modifying the culture of their workplaces to be more inclusive, accommodating, and understanding. After all, socializing and building connections are much easier in work environments where neurodiversity is viewed in a positive light. At the same time, it’s equally important to hear neurodivergent employees share their perspectives and experiences in their own words.
Listening to Neurodivergent Employees In Their Own Words
Alex Hagger is a colleague in Public Health at East Sussex County Council, in the U.K. He is also one of the millions of employees worldwide who are neurodivergent.
“For me personally, I think sometimes, people can find me quite direct and wanting to get to the point as soon as possible,’’ Hagger said in an interview with WellBeingatWork. He added that the main strategy that’s helped him is “understanding my needs and being confident in myself. I’m always open about the fact I’m neurodiverse, and I’m quite high functioning; a lot of people who are neurodiverse, are. My mind flicks about a lot and as a result, I don’t always convey what I mean or put it in understandable language. So, I have to slow down and make points individually and let people respond, or I’ll break it down and ask questions.” For neurotypical hiring managers and co-workers, Hagger’s experience should drive home the importance of not only recognizing, but valuing and appreciating the differences in how neurodivergent individuals communicate and process information. It’s also important to understand that neurodivergence is not uniform, and that individuals with ADHD, dyslexia, autism spectrum disorder (ASD), and other conditions all have distinct ways of communicating.
Another neurodivergent professional who has shared her perspective on finding acceptance in the workplace is Samantha Kelly. An advocate, coach, and founder of the neurodiverse support organization Beyond Neurodiversity, Kelly was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) at 27. This experience inspired Kelly to create Beyond Neurodiversity, which has improved support for others in the neurodivergent community who are facing challenges with employment.
‘‘If I could help leaders, managers, and supervisors understand and empathize with the neurodiverse experience,’’ Kelly said in a recent interview with Authority Magazine, ‘‘then maybe I could help my neurodivergent community find workplaces where they could excel, and also help businesses improve retention and their bottom lines.’’ Kelly understands that many neurodivergent employees feel anxious about whether or not to disclose having a disability to employers or co-workers, or whether to request reasonable accommodations. In the interview, Kelly shared that in her experience, transparency has always been something that helps, rather than hinders.
“I’ve found that it [disclosure] has actually built bridges with individuals I may not have had the opportunity or the ability to connect with at first,’’ she said. “After I was initially diagnosed, I was open with almost anyone new I met, and the number of people who were A) shocked, but then B) so excited to speak to their own experiences has been particularly touching.” In the interview, Kelly outlined 5 best practices that she believes can make businesses more welcoming and inclusive for employees who are neurodivergent. The first involves flexibility with scheduling and priorities, allowing team members to reduce friction in their daily routines. The second approach involves utilizing direct and clear communication, avoiding expressions and phrases that confuse what you’re trying to say. The third step entails providing multiple ways of following up on instructions, i.e. verbally or in writing, and being willing to repeat yourself if necessary. The fourth step is one of the most important: being patient and understanding, actively listening to neurodivergent employees and giving them time whenever possible. The fifth and final step is to make accommodations the norm, rather than the exception, making neurodivergent employees feel more fully included and accepted.
Empathy and Compassion Are the Most Powerful Connection Builders
“I think the world could use a little bit more empathy,’’ Kelly notes in her interview. ‘‘If there was one lesson that I’ve learned through my therapy journey, it’s that empathy (hand-in-hand with compassion) can solve more misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and arguments than we think.’’ Kelly’s observation could not be more correct. For employees who are neurodivergent, empathy is one of the most important, indispensable building blocks for improving socializing, acceptance, and belonging. In an essay for Mindshift Works, Ushas Purohit distinguishes between pity, sympathy, empathy, and compassion. Pity and sympathy involve merely feeling sorry for someone, at times in a (not always intentionally) condescending way. Empathy, by contrast, goes beyond concern and well-wishing. Instead, it involves being able to genuinely identify with the other person’s experience, actively finding ways to lend support. Compassion, Purohit writes, is strongly interconnected with empathy. In her words, compassion takes place “when empathy is already inspiring us to help. It’s not just understanding what you are going through, it’s desire, and more than that, doing something to ease their experience.’’ In the context of the workplace, Purohit points out that empathy gives peers and leaders insight into the lived experiences of their colleagues or employees who are neurodivergent. Compassion, meanwhile, incites meaningful steps towards ensuring and improving inclusion. “Making life inside the workplace a bit easier needs no extraordinary sort of intervention,’” Purohit writes. “Most times, it is just about being intentional in listening, showing flexibility, and having an earnest desire to meet somebody where they are.” Through empathy and compassion, colleagues can recognize when a neurodivergent co-worker might be feeling overwhelmed or excluded, respond with kindness instead of judgment, build trust, and foster collaboration based on mutual respect.
In some respects, socializing and connecting with others can be challenging for all of us, even those of us who are neurotypical. Building meaningful connections takes effort, commitment, and energy. Neurotypical employees can play a huge role in improving social connections for employees who are neurodivergent, simply by being more knowledgeable, empathetic, and understanding. ‘‘Empathy helps us see the person beyond a label,’’ Purohit writes. “Compassion motivates us to act and create workplaces where everyone feels valued, respected, and understood.” Purohit adds that neurotypical employees and business leaders can help by becoming more informed about neurodiversity; asking questions, rather than assuming; offering multiple forms of communication to accommodate different preferences; and recognizing inputs, creativity, and achievements. All of these steps can drastically improve socializing and connecting the workplace, which is a net gain not only for neurodivergent employees, but for everyone in the company as well.
Sources:
Purohit, U. (2025). “Creating an Autism-Friendly Workplace: The Power of Empathy and Compassion”, Mind Shift Works. https://mindshift.works/empathy-compassion-inclusive-workplaces/#:~:text=Download%20Case%20Study:%20Embracing%20Neurodiversity,Brown%20on%20empathy%20vs%20sympathy
Wellbeing at Work. “Neurodiversity at Work – a personal story”, Wellbeing at Work Blog Team. https://wellbeingatwork.eastsussex.gov.uk/blogs/neurodiversity-at-work-a-personal-story/.
Pines, E. (2024). “Neurodiversity in the Workforce: Samantha Kelly Of Beyond Neurodiversity On Why It’s Important To Include Neurodiverse Employees & How To Make Your Workplace More Neuro-Inclusive”, Authority Magazine. https://medium.com/authority-magazine/neurodiversity-in-the-workforce-samantha-kelly-of-beyond-neurodiversity-on-why-its-important-to-3d4c19086fda
Rocha, R., Nash, L., Saxena, S. (2025). “Social connections matter for the well-being of neurodivergent workers – adjustments to office settings and routines aren’t enough”, European Academy of Management (EURAM), The Conversation. https://theconversation.com/social-connections-matter-for-the-well-being-of-neurodivergent-workers-adjustments-to-office-settings-and-routines-arent-enough-263449
